I declined, since at the time I was going to be spending the weekend with my family in McCall for our anniversary, but I offered to write it out and let someone else read it.
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I can't say that I've felt much self doubt with my personal & spiritual relationship with my Heavenly Father. Nor have I questioned myself as being anything other than being a daughter a God. It's something I've always believed in - - So, when the question was asked, “HOW do you know you are a daughter of God,” I figured it would be super easy to answer.
So, how do I know I am a daughter of God? Because He knows me & loves me.
Sounds scripted and simple enough.
It would be easy to leave you with that answer but then I wanted to dig deeper into the question for my own pondering. So I altered it .....How did He know me and How does He show His love me so I can believe that I am His daughter?
Well, I can remember many specific times when I knew that God knew who I was & He had His best plans in store for me....
The one experience that has been dearest to me was 5 - 6 years ago....... I had just gone through a divorce and was coming to terms with the inward & outward negativity surrounding my decision. I became a bit of a recluse & I was content with relying on myself. Getting remarried was the last thing I wanted to do. Besides, during my previous marriage, I was told by a few doctors that I would never get pregnant. So, in my immaturity, I was under the impression that I couldn't be loved anyways.
My selfish attitude & desire to be alone was disheartening to my friends and family. I heard their pleas and felt their prayers but I just continued going through my new uncharted territories in life.
Then I saw Matt (my husband). (I can't say that I met him because we never even spoke a word to each other while we were shooting guns with mutual friends that day)....... Call it love at first sight or divine intervention from my destructive emotional path but the moment I laid eyes on him, my heart knew he was going to be important to me. I just didn't know how important.
But, out of the blue, 4 months later, upon finding out I was single, he (FINALLY) asked me on a date. Four weeks later we were engaged & four more weeks we were married. (Ironically, this was 5 years ago this past Friday.)
2 months isn't hardly enough time for a love struck woman to fully understand and appreciate the hand that God played in bringing us together.
It was a whole year later, on our 1 year wedding anniversary, when I found I was going to be a mother. It was then that I was fully aware that God was there, carefully preparing my life & my circumstances to find my one true love, my soul mate, & then allow me to be a vessel to bring one of His most precious creations here to earth. Even through our infertility issues after our first child and the many miscarriages to finally have our second baby - God was there the entire time - keeping our family strong and full of the love He destined for us.
Becoming a wife & a mother changed my life. By loving my husband & children, God has given me a tiny glimpse into how much He loves me. I love my little family with my whole heart and soul and even then, I know it's just a sliver of the amount of love God has for me & for all of His children.
God wanted me to feel love and He is the One who made this beautiful life I'm living. That is how I know He knows me. He knows what I need & continues to bless my family.
I feel His love all the time.
His love shines through my husband.... Matt is loving, patient and kind, even when I am most undeserving.
His love shines through my son... Zeplin is accepting and forgiving when I need it most.
His love shines through my daughter..... Arrowlyn is my closest connection to heaven. Her divine spirit is still strong & sweet & precious.
His love shines through me . . . as I continue to pray for His hands in my life - leading me to be the best wife and mother I can possibly be for my beautiful family.
As I said in the beginning, I've always known I was a daughter of God. I'm thankful for that knowledge and that I've never really felt otherwise but I'm now grateful for the opportunity to really focus more on how I know.
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