On the evening of Thursday 2/8, my co-ed team had a game and immediately following, I was going to sub for another co ed team. After we killed the other team from our first match I headed to the other gym for the 2nd game. For whatever reason I was so nervous but super excited to keep playing that night. I was playing with a group that I'd been playing softball with for years so I'm not sure why I was so nervous. . . Probably because they're in a league higher than the co-ed league I'm in. Maybe it was premonition for what was going to happen next.
Anyways, we started warming up and I was feeling good. They started a hitting line and I wanted a hit a few so I hit one, then went to shag balls, came back to hit another and that's when all hell broke loose.
I came down from the hit and my left knee completely buckled, pivoting to the right, hitting my right knee and my lower leg shot to the left, going completely parallel with the floor (Or so it felt like.) I heard a horrific POP and I hit the floor and started screaming. My leg was shaking and I literally thought I broke something.I sat on the floor, holding my knee with my teammates around me. The pain was making me sick but after a few minutes, I got up and thought, "I'm tough, I can walk this off." They asked if they should call Matt and I immediately told them no. If there is one thing I know about my husband is his absolute care and sincere love for me ... He would have been so helpless to find out I was injured and he was home with the kids unable to be there for me.
I hobbled over to the other wall near my stuff and sat down, then got back up and tried walking again. As long as I was going in a forward motion & not side to side, I was fine. But of course that didn't cross my mind when I tried going back on the court. It took only 1 serve receive and I knew immediately that my knee was shot. I hobbled back to the wall and contemplated my life, trying so hard not to cry. I knew that if it was my ACL, I was out for softball - my favorite sport that I've been playing since I was 7 years old! And I was feeling even better at playing volleyball since my collegiate experience with both sports! I was really bummed out.
I made the mistake of texting Matt. He wasn't as freaked out as I thought but kept telling me to come home so he could help me but within 10 minutes, the swelling started. I couldn't bend, straighten or put any pressure on my knee. I was basically at the mercy of my teammates and I knew it but didn't want to admit it.
When I tried getting up, my knee wobbled side to side and it made me sick. Nic and Ty tried to carry me out but I was mortified about it, so with their support, I just used them as crutches. Cruz was kind enough to run out and get my car for me, bringing it closer to the door.
Getting into the car was horrific. I couldn't get my knee to bend to get in and I just leaned towards my middle console and started to cry. I was disappointed because I was doing so good not crying up until that point but the pain was so bad.
Ty & Chea offered to drive me home but I knew that once my flood gates opened, I was going to have a hell of a time trying to close them. I took off for home and called Matt. I was sobbing, nearly screaming and felt horrible for him on the other line having to hear me cry like I was dying. (At the time, I was so unconsolable thinking that my life playing sports was OVER so I might as well be dead..... I'm a little bit of an over reactor.) But I knew I was in deep with this injury because even with every bump in the road, my knee flared with pain!
Anyways, Cruz's girlfriend was chatting with me while still at the game and said she's had 3 surgeries on her shoulders and knee and recommended Idaho Sports Medicine Institute. I pulled up their website, found an after hours phone number and gave it a shot. I found myself apologizing to the poor dispatcher because had a heck of time trying to get my information through my ridiculous sobbing but quickly sent my number to the doctor on call. Doctor Andrew Curran called back quickly, asking what happened. Without thinking, I, ignorantly, blurted out, "I think I blew out my knee." I elaborated on what happened and he gave me instructions to go home, RICE and he would get me into his office first thing in the morning. His voice was actually really calming and totally calmed me down.
Around 10:30pm, I pulled into our driveway. Matt was at the door waiting for me with crutches, 800mg of Ibuprofen, water, ice and a huge hug. I cried and cried and cried trying to get into the house and thinking of all the horrible things that I would be conquering over the next 24 hours trying to be a stay at home mom in a 2 story house, with young children who still very much need me for day to day activities.
Matt got me into bed and although I tried to relax, the pain was getting significantly worse and a migraine was setting it. I did a little research on the facility I would be going with and our insurance benefits. The Ibuprofen must have set in because I was able to turn onto my side and fall asleep around 1:30am.
Friday 2/9:
I slept hard but woke up numb on the inside. My knee had ballooned over the course of 4 hours and I had zero mobility. I laid in bed from 5:30a-6:30a until I knew I need to pull myself together and get shit done. The doctor said he was going to call me just as soon as they opened at 8am so I was running out of time to clean up incase they could get me in early.
I did my morning activities that resembled showing, getting dressed and doing my hair but really I sat on the floor for about 90% of the morning. I made it back into the bed an hour and a half later.....
Matt and the kids were still asleep at 8am. I waited patiently for the phone call but didn't have to wait long. At exactly 8:07am, their scheduler called me and said Dr Curran made a point to get me in asap and so I was on the schedule at 10:30am.
I hobbled into the living room and got comfy on the couch, just in time for Zeplin to come down the stairs and solemnly asked whats wrong. I started to cry again because the reality set in that my sweet 5 yr old son was going to have to pick up some of my slack. I pulled myself together to tell him that I hurt my knee and he was going to have to be a big helper. He literally jumped at the opportunity. I asked him to go upstairs and get dressed. Instead he came down with his super hero cup, full of water, for me. He was adamant that I be comfortable and he was going to take care of me. Zeplin played the perfect doctor and helper that morning. He brought me water, raisins, drew me a picture, brought me ice, put pillows under my knee and gave me lots of love. When Arrowlyn started to get pouty, he took her hand, walked her upstairs and turned on a movie for her. It made me emotional just thinking about how blessed I am to have this little family. They're perfect!!
Jeremy came over around 9:30am so Matt could get me to my appointment.
Matt wheeled me into the Idaho Sports Medicine Institute at BSU and after an initial check in what a nurse, I went into x-ray. It was ridiculously painful because they needed me to straighten my leg but it was completely impossible.
Fortunately, there were zero breaks to any bones but when he did a range of motion test, I started bawling. The pain was intense. He didn't torture me for long because clearly something was wrong with my knee.
Doctor Curran sat me up, sat down next to me and point blank said, "I'm pretty sure you tore your ACL but I really think there is more going on in there. Maybe your meniscus or some joint damage. Either way, we need an MRI so I can know exactly what we are up against but it doesn't look good."
I blurted out, "Damnit" and hung my head.
He explained a little bit more about the possibilities and what we were up against.
I was then fitted with a brace and out the door.
Through out the day, I got a little better with my crutches. The knee brace really helped for sure but I couldn't put any pressure on my leg, nor bend/straighten it.
By the afternoon, the swelling actually got worse. But I had an MRI scheduled for Sunday at 12pm so the waiting game began again. . . .
Saturday 2/10, Sunday 2/11, Monday 2/12:
It was a semi - lazy weekend for me.
Matt was super helpful, of course. The kids were okay. Zeplin copped a little bit of an attitude and tried walking all over Matt so I had to be the meanie and nip it. Arrowlyn was full of hugs and concern with each tear I shed!
My mom came over to help teach volleyball officiating to some women I played with at church. I was fine sitting there participating with the discussion but once the net came up so they could practice, I felt the tears welling up. I excused myself to try to combat the tears. As I said before, once I start crying, I can't stop. We went home quickly before any of the ladies could see me crying.We ended up leaving the house again because she wanted to go shopping (and I didn't really want to stay home). I called to a few stores to make sure they had a wheelchair. We had a good time shopping until my pain pill wore off and it was definitely time to go home.
I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening sitting upstairs in a chair, feeling sorry for myself and face timing my husband to help me get stuff from downstairs to bring up to me. Lucky me. lol
Sunday morning - Things got a little heated for Matt and I. Mostly my fault because I was being irrational and emotional. It didn't take long for us to hug it out before my MRI appointment. I decided to drive myself so the kids wouldn't haven't be involved. I figured I could let the hospital team help me get in and out just fine.The MRI went well. Painful but well. It brought hope knowing that I was 1 step closer to having a resolution. The MRI technician was so fantastic. I got to watch a movie through these cool little goggles which passed the time quite perfectly.
By Sunday afternoon, I was pretty emotionally stable. Hahaha. We did a little grocery trip, then came home and relaxed. I kept my emotions pretty much in check. Matt and I decided that he would go to work on Monday since I was basically only going to be at home waiting for a phone call.It might have been a bad idea to send Matt to work. I was afraid to take a pain pill in case I needed to drive and my knee pain was nearly unbearable. The swelling still hadn't gone down but I just wish I knew what that bump on the left side was!
Matt came home early for me so I could take a pain pill and a nap. I got up and showered and then I finally got the call I was expecting just after 6pm.
Doc Curran viewed my MRI and gave me the unfortunate news that I completely tore my ACL, a tiny tear/ sprain to my MCL and a complete Lateral tear to my Meniscus. I was bummed but happy to hear our game plan. . .
I will be doing physical therapy to get the swelling down and then surgery.... That's about all I know for know. I'll update this as time goes on.. . .
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