Both of us came from muddy past marriages, so we understand broken relationships. Which is probably why I've been so prideful in our marriage. But it's also fueled my desire for my friends and family to share love in their marriages too.
Matt and I have a marriage that is strong and committed. I've never had to worry about us. We rarely, if ever, fight. (in 9 years, we've only had a handful of fights.) We hardly ever argue even. Basically, we really do our 'marriage' well. (I say this, tongue in cheek because what works for us may not work for others. Please don't believe you need to look to us for 'marriage goals!' Keep reading and you'll find out our secret.)
As of today, we've been married 9 years ... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!! (We dated 4 weeks before getting engaged. We were engaged for 4 more weeks and got married). Since day one, it's always been about us.
Us against infertility.
Us against financial burdens.
Us against life changes.
Us against family issues.
Us against losses in life and deaths.
Us against jobs and school
Us against the world!
But all this time, it's always been about US, just compatible partners and prideful lovers. Matt and I were, blissfully, unaware that we were missing the most important ingredient in our marriage. We didn't realize until recently that we were being called to be more. . . Into a union that would make us complete. . . In Jesus.
Our marriage works because of Him!
Because He wanted us to be together.
Because He wanted to give us children.
Because He wanted to bring our family into a relationship with Him.
Because He is good and loving and wonderful!!
But what makes our marriage so sweet, is that even when we didn't know Jesus, He has always taken care of us in those seasons of life I listed above.
He deserves all the glory for
our marriage and life!!
We didn't do it - He did it. He is who makes this marriage work and makes this marriage worth while!! That is our secret!
Our pastor said something that we've not been able to shake from our minds, "How do you rejoice in the truth that condemns you?"
Wait, What?? We are condemned? How do we rejoice in it?? 1 Corinthians 13 says, "Love rejoices in truth." And the Truth is, Romans 5:8, "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
We didn't seek out Jesus. It was hard to think we needed something to fix what we thought wasn't broken; but the truth is, Jesus sought us out because our marriage was "broken." We didn't acknowledge that He was with us. We thought we were doing fine and created our own perfect idea of marriage. God knew better.So how have we applied this in our marriage??
It started by accepting who we are, asking Jesus to forgive us, sanctification, but showing grace when we fail. Every. Single. Day.
He wants each of us to forsake our own desires and live for Christ, not ourselves. A biblical marriage is one in which each spouse submits themselves to Christ and seeks after God's purposes, not their own.
I know that my marriage is God originated. He spoke to me the day I saw Matt, saying, "He's going to be important to you one day!" If only I knew then what I know now! Our marriage has always been sweet, but it's definitely gotten sweeter over time during this walk with Jesus.
God is sovereign over us and our marriage. We are two imperfect people but Jesus is perfecting us; in the way we treat each other, the grace we give to each other and love we share. We rejoice in the truth that we are only in love because God loves us. In this union with Him, He's teaching us how to love better.
So no, we do not have the perfect marriage. To say we have the perfect marriage would diminish the perfection of God and those relationships He shares.
We love each other best because Jesus gave us His love.
I know, now, that our marriage was not ours to boast of. It wasn't our ability to stay together and be so great together. It's Jesus walking with us. We've become better for each other because God is working in us. We want a beautiful marriage with Christ who has given us the beautiful gift of marriage in the first place!!
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