Arrowlyn, my Empath.

 

My sweet baby girl makes me swoon. 

Last night, Arrowlyn had a birthday party for her little friend, Fred and was the only girl invited. She was nervous but I continually gave her words of affirmation that she is fun, friendly, and adventurous so by the time we arrived to the party, she went from clinging to my arm, begging me to stay, to hardly saying goodbye to me as I walked out the door to find something to do for 3 hours.....

I went to my mom's gravesite to see the grass growing over her. There were weeds growing over the stone so I pulled those and just stood there and cried. Mom never wanted to buried there so every time I go there, I get a little sad to think that her final resting spot is a place full of thistles and weeds. It hurts my heart. 

I continued being a little emotional as I drove into Caldwell to meet up with Hailee to watch CofI volleyball. It was nice to spend time with her. Afterwards we drove back to Nampa to see her adorable new apartment! She's living in it all by herself and she's quite enjoying the non-roommate life. I love it for her! 

I picked up Arrowlyn from her party at 9pm. She was exhausted but had so much fun! I heard about it the entire way home. 

  

 

As we were close to home, the song Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran came on. Because I was already sensitive to the short time at my mom's gravesite, I started to cry. Arrow reached over and grabbed my hand with both of hers and softly stroked the top of my hand while I cried. I looked over to her and she was also crying, hard. She pulled her shirt up over her eyes to wipe her tears away and we changed the song. It was such a tender moment between us. 

And I realized my daughter is what they call an empath.  

An empath is a person who experiences an unusually high level of empathy, often absorbing the emotions, energy, and physical sensations of the people around them

She's kind of always been that way - since birth. I used to try to 'coach' her out of it and told her she was only allowed to cry when she's broken, bleeding or broken-hearted because she would cry all the time about anything. If I noticed she was about to cry, I would stop her, tell her to roll her shoulders back and take a deep breath... but she would always cry regardless. 

If she noticed I was getting agitated, she would ask, "Mom, do you need a hug?" It was so helpful to calm to me down ..... And yes, I recognize it's not up to my daughter to help me regulate my temper but her calm, tender question would bring me to repentance. I thank God for her!

This moment in the car led to me to look up more on Empaths and my sweet girl hits every single bullet point. 

Absorbing emotions: You do not just notice how others feel; you feel their sadness, joy, or anxiety in your own body.
Needing alone time: Crowds, noise, and heavy social interactions leave you exhausted, requiring quiet time to recharge.
Strong intuition: You easily pick up on hidden moods, micro-expressions, or tension in a room before anyone speaks.
Sensory sensitivity: Loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, or scratchy clothing can overwhelm your senses quickly.
Trouble with boundaries: You often put other people's needs ahead of your own and struggle to say no to requests for help

I laughed at a memory that popped into my head regarding "Needing alone time." I threw Arrow a halloween party a year ago with about 5 other little girls. The next morning I asked her what her favorite part of the party was and she said "When I left the room and found a quiet place to be alone for a few minutes." I just thought that she was just an introvert, which I struggled to understand being such an extrovert myself, but I know it's more than that... and much more Godly. 

She cries when holding baby animals or seeing anyone injured. She's highly intelligent and struggles separating the emotions from the thoughts. When she too overwhelmed she will pick at her fingers, often picking the skin on her finger pads to the point of bleeding. She holds herself to a high standard regarding her schooling and performance which can be good but tends to put too much pressure on outcomes. 

Matt and I find that we have to speak truths over her often so the emotional overload doesn't consume her and she can rely on God's faithfulness over her life. 

I'm so thankful that God gave me this moment with my little girl. It was a merciful connection that I believe is because I really crave relationship with my daughter as I grieve the loss of being a daughter to my mom.