Well, it's official. Matt is back to the office. He loaded up his computers this morning and drove away.
The kids and I are pretty bummed about it.
Max is super bummed about it and Olivia is extremely bummed about it.
Max was basically a Covid Puppy. Someone has been home with him all day, every day since we brought him home. When I came home today, he was so extremely eager to get me to pay attention to him. We went for walk but it was too cold to go any further than to get the kids and come home.
Olivia, on the other hand, has been a whiny brat all day. She would spend all day on Matt's lap if he let her. She could not get enough of her human.
The kids and I are bummed because we love him so greatly and having him home has been an indescribable blessing, even if we didn't see it that way for the past few years.
Roughly 6 months ago, I was no longer thrilled with the arrangement of Matt working from home. It created quite the rift between us mostly because I couldn't figure out how to tell him that we needed to sit down and reevaluate the terms of our responsibilities at home. He was also unhappy with work and very stressed out. He was unable to separate his work and home life since the lines were blurred working from home. Literally, the only thing separating the two (work/home) was a door and thin walls. I could hear his meetings and I didn't like listening. Matt is a calm, wise and loving husband and father. But because work was so difficult, he would pull out the 'business-authority card' and it was hard to understand what he was actually dealing with. He sounded angry, and we (the kids and I) struggled to see that side of him.
I also knew that he was dealing with some heavy discussions and I couldn't do anything for him. My only suggestion was that he go to the office more often so he can separate home and work better. Maybe the 30 minute drive to and from could help him prepare and/or decompress?? But when I suggested it, he thought I was telling him that I didn't want him around anymore. It was a difficult season.
After, finally, having a conversation with Matt about it, where we could both put down our defenses and love each other, we decided he would go to the office at least 2 times a week. BUT then he got a message that the State was going to be transitioning all employees back to the office full time by the spring. I was shocked at how disappointed I was in that moment! He will no longer have the option to be a presence in the morning as we are all getting ready for the day and potentially unable to take the kids to school or pick them up.
I also know how disappointed he is too. He works so unbelievably hard and is drained. His emotional and mental capacity to engage with us after work is difficult. We had to chat about how we are both going to be super intentional with how we spend our time with each other and the kids. It will need to be planned and anticipated otherwise, it might never happen because we will be too tired, drained or numb. I, absolutely, do not want that to happen for us.
On the flip side, he's excited to be a professional again. It's going to take some time getting used to not having him around but it will be good.
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