Christmas came and went and for the 1st time ever, it did not feel like Christmas. I hope my children felt the spirit of it but no matter how I tried, I was struggling. I think it's because this is the first year that my mom didn't spend Christmas Eve with us. We also didn't go to our church's Candlelight service because Arrowlyn had a sore throat and fever. Or maybe because I'm battling an ever increasing bout of depression.
I spent Christmas Eve evening in my bedroom, regretting and reeling over this weird emotional block that was sabotaging any potential enjoyment of the holiday. Matt stayed steady for the kids, cooking our traditional Chinese dinner and watching Christmas movies, after finishing Stranger Things season 4.
I was in bed before 10pm waiting for the kids to mosey their way up the stairs for bed also.
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