Life is hard - Marriage (your spouse) should be your shelter from those hard moments.
So, it's no secret. I've been married twice.
My first marriage was a complete joke. We were young, naive, & immature. We had different values, up-bringings, and beliefs & instead of respecting each other for our differences - we hated each other.
After a year and a half of torture, I finally filed for divorce and we were over. But the effects of a damning marriage doesn't end with the judge's decree. I became cynical to love, repulsed by the idea of marriage and practically laughed in the face of any boy who tried to convince me otherwise.
Then Matt came along.♥
Our little love story is so old fashioned. Boy meets Girl. Boy takes girl on date. Boy & Girl fall in love! Boy proposes to girl 30 days later. Boy and Girl elope, getting married only 70 days of the first date. . . . Boy and Girl have a baby . . . . And Live Happily Ever After.....
And every day has been the easiest day of my life because I know when times get rough, I can always run to my husband who will hold me tight, lift me higher and bring me peace.
Many will argue it's because Matt and I have been married before. Or even be as critical to say we haven't been married long enough.
Maybe so. But we believe otherwise.
We have made a commitment to make life as beautiful and wonderful for each other, day in and day out. Knowing that when we are apart, there are others who will bring us down, we lift each other up, making every second together as easy as breathing air - We really believe being married should be the easiest thing anyone should ever do. There is nothing in this world worth fighting about with your spouse. Of course, Matt and I have our differences, which makes life exciting. We both bring our own views on life, love, marriage and parenting. And I'm not saying we don't have our very own imperfect moments - but that's what "I'm sorry" and "I will try harder next time" is for!
We have learned to respect the other, praise each other, and feel gratitude for one another. Where I am weak, he is strong & visa versa.
I understand everyone has their different quirks for what works in their marriages or relationships which may not work for others. For us, we promise to always be the one to lift each other up from the bad days from the world.
Personally, the outside world is rough & callused.
Leaving my baby at daycare is painful.
Saying goodbye to Matt in the morning is difficult.
Other people can be so mean.
Just going to sleep is sometimes irritating - because being awake with my husband (& baby)is so wonderful. It's a shame that sleep has to interfere!
Coming home is sweet.
Holding my husbands hand is invigorating.
Playing guitar with Zeplin is exhilarating.
Having dinner & talking about our day is peaceful.
Anything we do and every second we spend together is EASY!
Why do we have to make such a beautiful time in our life so hard? If I can use my own personal experiences, my 1st marriage was hard because it wasn't right and the person I was with was not good for me.
When you're with the right person, everyday can be a beautiful day. It can be full of love and happiness. When Matt and I got married, it was surreal that 2 people could go months without a single argument, when before, I was only familiar with a day or two of peace in a month.
I'm not saying if you're with someone that you fight with then it's not worth it. It's very much worth it!! But pick your battles & make a commitment to each other to be more uplifting in your marriage because there is already enough outside to bring those you love down with grief, shame, & sadness. Fighting in your marriage only makes it more miserable.
If you really love them, wouldn't you want to give them the most joy they can get out of life?And because you love them, wouldn't their joy bring such to your life?
So, Please - I beg for the future of marriages or for those struggling to get by - Just love your spouse. Find joy in their happiness. Find peace in their safety.
Happily Ever Afters do exist! As a mother, I just want my son to know and experience true love. Matt and I pray often that our son will admire the love his parents share. We pray he strives to be the most selfless, patient, kind & happy husband so his wife will want to reflect those qualities she sees in him.
I have been blessed with a husband who has all those and many more worthy qualities that seem to be neglected as husbands and wives become more comfortable in their roles in marriage. Because of his love, patience and admiration towards me, I only want to be better for him. May we all find that desire to only want to better ourselves, in turn - bettering our spouses, & families and strengthening our relationships with them.
Ultimately, I can think of a million things in life that are hard - Marriage, not being one of them.
Matt & Zeplin are the reasons for all my smiles. Even when the outside world has presented me with a bad day making my life seem like a bottomless black hole for the moment, running to my husband will always be the easiest decision I will make and it has been since the day we said, "I DO"
1 comment
Thank you so much for writing this. It was really inspiring!
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